- Title: Wisconsin Vamp
- Author: Scott Burtness
- ISBN: null
- Page: 434
- Format: Kindle Edition
An alternate cover for this ASIN can be found here.Some vampires are destined for greatness He s not one of them.When truckstop diner cook and mediocre bowler Herb Knudsen becomes a vampire, his once simple life gets a bit complicated.Herb s not even sure how it happened He wasn t bitten by a vampire, which means there s no one around to help him learn the ropes WiAn alternate cover for this ASIN can be found here.Some vampires are destined for greatness He s not one of them.When truckstop diner cook and mediocre bowler Herb Knudsen becomes a vampire, his once simple life gets a bit complicated.Herb s not even sure how it happened He wasn t bitten by a vampire, which means there s no one around to help him learn the ropes With no one to guide him, Herb fumbles into his newfound abilities, courting disaster with every step.Despite learning each new lesson the hard way, being a vampire isn t all bad He s stronger, a little sexier, and a heck of a lot better at bowling Even Lois, the girl of his dreams, is starting to notice him But he can t drink beer, the bodies are piling up, and his best friend Dallas isn t just getting suspicious he s getting jealous.When Lois is caught in the middle of the two friends escalating rivalry, keeping his dark secret becomes the least of Herb s concerns.Booze, bowling, bake sales, bar fights, babes, blood and karaoke Who would have thought that being undead would make life so exciting
Recent Comments "Wisconsin Vamp"
Finally, a book that thrives amongst the mammoth weight of modern vampirical prose, even as it gently pokes fun at it.But that isn’t what this book is all about. No, “Wisconsin Vamp” is more about the “Wisconsin”; Herb is an amiable loser living in a small town, happy to ride the coat tails of his bigger-fish friend, Dallas. Working at a truck stop and drinking down at the bar is pretty much Herb’s life and he’s pretty much neither happy nor unhappy.But take away his reflection, cr [...]
This book bitesbut in a good way!If you like to take a light-hearted approach to your Vampire themed fiction, there can be no better journey than with Herb, Lois and Dallas, Trappersville's very own royalty. Burtness captures the perfect comedic angle on small town life, from Herb's three alarm clock routine, to his cluttered trailer, to his idiosyncratic Pinto. And this is where the book really shines. Everyday routines take on a hilarious identity with the writers eye for the surreal and make [...]
I really enjoyed Wisconsin Vamp by Scott Burtness. I'm not usually a horror fan but a horror comedy set in the Midwest? Yes, I can totally get down with that. What really tripped my trigger were the characters and the setting. I grew up with guys like Herb and Dallas; schlubby underachievers who just want to do their own thing and over the top egoists who have to be the center of attention. Looking around my small town in Ohio I can walk a mile to some woods where Herb may live and drive ten min [...]
Tired of all those highfalutin city-slicker vampires? Completely over those well-dressed, gorgeous, gifted and talented undead icons of perfection? Scott Burtness has turned every bloodsucker trope on its ear and created a nightwalker whose adventures reflect the heart and soul of the everyman.There are passages of parody in this book that are straight fucking genius. Also, best use of a mosquito as a plot device ever.There are some typos and editing errors in this book, but the story is solid, [...]
It would make a humorous movie with the right actors.
Wisconsin Vamp is a humorous underdog story about what happens when your average Joe - or in this case, Herb - becomes a vampire. While it's mostly lighthearted and tongue-in-cheek, it also has a dash of drama and romance to round it out.I found a lot to like in this book. The first thing that caught my attention - on the first page, in fact - were some well-turned phrases. Second, although sometimes the characters were the epitome of cliche, by the end I empathized with and even felt I understo [...]
4.5 Stars. The BookOr as I found myself thinking about it "So, you're a Vampire. Now what?" Herb isn't anyone special, used to living in the shadow of his best friend Dallas he is the lesser known of the close knit three-man friendship circle. Dallas is the typical stud of the town, swinging between Herbs bully and saviour. Even Stanley, a stuttering ball of useless advise, is better known than him, and that's only because of one random event that to this day no one truly understands but that ev [...]
Wisconsin VampWhen the least likely person in the world becomes a vampire - Life in Trappersville is about to change forever. With new skills; new powers and a new thirst Herb - who makes really good french toast - is about to find out what it's like to go from no-one to someone in a short span of time. With no instructions; no mentor and no clue in general - Herb is about to go on one wild ride but will his attention hogging buddy enjoy being out of the spotlight? You'll have to read it and see [...]
Sookie Stackhouse look out - Herb Knudsen's in town!Wisconsin Vamp was a great, funny read that had me hooked from the opening mosquito bite! Mr. Burtness has characters that are cheesy and stereotypical, but so lovable because the reader recognizes them in their circle of friends immediately.Right off the bat (no pun intended), we meet Herb, a grill cook who would trip over a banana peel twice if it were possible. In small town Trappersville, Herb's heart is set on Lois - the girl next door - a [...]
4.5 stars!!!Full review up My Book Filled LifeLet me introduce you to Herb, a somewhat less-than-average cook at “Ronnie’s Famous Truck-stop, Grill, Bait Shop and Gift Emporium” located in some small town in Wisconsin. Herb doesn’t have it going on. At. All. He drives a Pinto and needs three different alarm clocks just to help him get up in the mornings. Through a weird twist of fate (and I mean weird), Herb becomes the newest citizen of the undead society. And oh what a journey it is! T [...]
Funny and thoughtfulThis quirky book brings to mind many a night (and many a character) from the tiny town in which I went to college. The hero is a generally charming, thoughtful Everyman whose story has more depth than one might expect. A quick, enjoyable read.
I believe that this is the first vampire story where the cause is a mosquito bite.Thanks again to giveaways for my signed copy!
Really goodI really enjoyed this book. I like that it had some comedy too. I wouldn't recommend that you read it.
Entertaining Short ReadThe short story is a glimpse into the lives and characters of a little town in Wisconsin. Characters are well described. Enjoyable read.
My rating: 4 starsWisconsin Vamp is a humorous underdog story about what happens when your average Joe - or in this case, Herb - becomes a vampire. While it's mostly lighthearted and tongue-in-cheek, it also has a dash of drama and romance to round it out.I found a lot to like in this book. The first thing that caught my attention - on the first page, in fact - were some well-turned phrases. Second, although sometimes the characters were the epitome of cliche, by the end I empathized with and ev [...]
I found myself totally engrossed in this book about a small-town restaurant cook turned vampire by the end of the first chapter. I read the entire book within two days because I had to find out what was going to happen to Wisconsin Vamp Herb, a.k.a. Herby to his friends. The author has a talent for creating descriptive phrases. Two of my favorite lines from the book include a description of Herb after he begins his transformation: "his lips pulled back like two dehydrated worms left on the sidew [...]
Wisconsin Vamp is the first book in Author Scott Burtness's Monsters in The Midwest series, detailing the unfortunate vampication of Herb Knudson who makes pretty good French toast. Herb has spent his whole life as the victim. Bullies tormented him throughout his school years, one of them his best friend Dallas, and now as an adult he's plagued by crippling shyness around the girl of his dreams - who happens to be the waitress at the diner where he works as a cook. After being bitten by a strang [...]
A First Reads win. While the style of this book, kind of silly humor, isn't generally my cup of tea, Scott Burtness pulled it off quite well and kept my attention. For a self-published book, there were fewer errors than in many others, but a few still stood out like, well, like a vampire in the Wisconsin northwoods. At one point the author mixes up "who's" and "whose" and at two points, he uses "sequence" instead of "sequins." He also uses "wallah" when he should have written "viola." (Perhaps t [...]
Herb is your average guy. He enjoys meeting up with his mates for beer and bowling. He's not the most handsome of guys and he lacks confidence when it comes to the object of his affections, Lois. Unfortunately for Herb, his far more confident friend, Dallas, also has a thing for Lois. Herb is the underdog that you will end up rooting for. Herb lives out in the sticks and is usually resistant to bugs, until he's bitten by a super bug that turns him into a vampire. His transformation is not the st [...]
This book sees a very regular guy, Herb, get accidentally turned into a vampire by a passing mosquito. Herb is very much the guy next door; you can identify with him, like him, feel sorry for him. When things go well for him, you cheer, and when things go bad, you really feel for the guy. If you enjoy a vampire story then you owe it to yourself to read this book. It’s refreshingly honest and open; we are right there with Herb through all of his inner revelations.I loved the words and phrases t [...]
A bad mosquito bite leaves diner chef Herb feeling a little under the weather. He's soon feeling worse, but at the same time becoming better at a lot of things. Could it be he's a little undead? This book is a lot of fun, and with its three buddy bowling team reminds me of The Big Lebowski. Not all vampires are drop dead gorgeous like that guy in the movies, and Herb's going to make the best of his undeath and try and get the girl and the glory too.The ending wasn't what I expected, but leaves a [...]
Involuntary VampireWhen he unknowingly gets bitten by a mosquito that fed on the blood of a vampire's victim, changes happen to his body. At first he likes the physical power he has gained. Changing from a loser to a winner feels great. Can he live with himself feasting on people? How will he hide from the sun? He needs to keep working, wants the girl of his dreams to date him. Can he keep his secrets? This is a different vampire story.
So goodI can't say enough about how good this book is. I originally bought it because it seemed like a good different funny book ascot a vampire from Wisconsin. Little did I know that this book would have me addicted within the first chapter. Herb as the protagonist learning what it is to be a vampire had me wanting to read his book all the time and never have it end.
Highly enjoyable Nice change in the way "monsters" are created, totally unexpected ending and I'm kinda bummed about it too. You'll have to read it to find out what I'm talking about though!
An interesting read, very imaginative. Certainly not your typical vampire story, but that made it so much better, especially to see a typical guy gaining those kind of powers.
Wisconsin Vamp by Scott Burtness is downright funny—even moreso if you’ve lived any amount of time in the old cheese state or in her sister states. I did a little over a nickel in the state after college (not in prison…I just find the terminology appropriate,) and the language and euphemisms kept cracking me up. The book is funny—not an overt comedy, but that subtle, deeply mirthful kind of humor that interlaces great films like Evil Dead or Lethal Weapon—it’s foundational to the sto [...]
Kindle Unlimited but got 2 of the 3 on freebie days and just went ahead and bought the other one.Some vampires are destined for greatness. He's not one of them.When truckstop diner cook and mediocre bowler Herb Knudsen becomes a vampire, his once simple life gets a bit more complicated.Herb’s not even sure how it happened. He wasn’t bitten by a vampire, which means there’s no one around to help him learn the ropes. With no one to guide him, Herb fumbles into his newfound abilities, courtin [...]
First of all, I love this cover! Nothing says Midwest to me like this guy on the cover! It made me keep this up on my kindle, waiting for me (way too long) to finish my next series so I could dig into this book. Every time I looked at it, it cracked me up! But for some reason, I wasn't in the mood for a comedy/supernatural read. Lucky me though, I happened to run into the author at an event in St. Paul, and after talking to him, that made me move the book to the next on my list! I even got to pi [...]
This is more of a 3.5. A solid 4 for the plot and pacing, but I have to take it down a notch for some typos. One of my pet peeves. This was an amusing take on the popular vampire trend. A small town cheese-head becomes one of the undead. I enjoyed the way vampire lore was mixed with Midwest sensibilities. Herb was a likable and sympathetic character. The relationships were described well. Although, some of the secondary characters were a little flat. Stanley, in particular, seemed a little unnec [...]
Being a wisconsinite with a slightly twisted sense of humor and being a fan of horror books and movies, i simply couldn't resist this book. The hero of this book is a cheesehead through and through. He's also more or less a geek. A pudgy, red haired short order cook in a diner in a tiny town in northern wisconsin. He had the misfortune of getting bit by a mosquito that had previously fed on and undead gent in a warmer climate and voila! he finds himself sizzling every time he gets in sunlight. A [...]
☆ Wisconsin Vamp || ☆ PDF Download by ✓ Scott Burtness 434 Scott Burtness
Title: ☆ Wisconsin Vamp || ☆ PDF Download by ✓ Scott Burtness