- Title: Mother Had a Secret: Learning to Love My Mother & Her Multiple Personalities: A True Story
- Author: Tiffany Fletcher
- ISBN: 9781608610587
- Page: 193
- Format: Hardcover
Tiffany recounts the challenges of growing up in the care of her mother who was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder DID , a condition that produces multiple personalities in victims of profound trauma.
Recent Comments "Mother Had a Secret: Learning to Love My Mother & Her Multiple Personalities: A True Story"
Tiffany Fletcher lives in my neighborhood, and on the outside she just seems like the perfect Mormon woman: mother of 5, home-schooling, head of the children's organization at church, etc. This book just goes to show that you can never judge someone simply by their outward appearance.The book begins at her mother's funeral, and flashes back and forth between Tiffany's memories of her past and confronting the reality of her mother's death. I was grateful for this - the memories were sad, sometime [...]
poignantly describes finding healing after parentified mother/daughter relationshipThe book switches between the past and present, describing her mothers struggles with mental illness and substance abuse. This child was her mother's caretaker, and it describes her process of finding peace and acceptance. I would recommend this book to anyone who's family has struggled with mental illness and substance abuse.
i heard about this book from a coworker; her niece wrote it. at clinton elementary's spring social i was eating lunch with the preschool ladies and the conversation turned to family, and specifically one lady's crazy mother. a conversation during which this book was mentioned. i really enjoyed this book, a quick read (about 2 days), and a true story. the author is LDS and she frequently refers to and/or explains beliefs, values, and practices of the LDS faith. i found this book very interesting. [...]
Although the story is about a fractured and broken life lived in the shadows of mental illness, it is also an amazing account of forgiveness and compassion that I think anyone can relate to. This family was haunted and tormented daily by the living ghosts of their mother's multiple personalities. It was madly compelling to read. Towards the end, the shock and awe give way to lessons hard for all of us to swallow, but illustrated well enough for me to WANT to live what I had learned.Read Jan. 7, [...]
The author was one of my roommates in college. Although I had no idea of the hard childhood she had, she was a wonderful, kind, inspiring person. "Mother Had A Secret" is well written and gives insights into the misconceptions that surround mental illness but more importantly, it explores her journey of acceptance, forgiveness and love. I would highly recommend it.
Wow, this book was not only fascinating but also a literal medicine I needed. It's difficult to put more into writing why, so I help people trust me on this review and pick it up for themselves. For the mother she detested, the daughter learns why her mother deserved to be seen as a savior.
A remarkable story of a remarkable woman who I happen to be blessed to have as my wife.
It was alright. DID or MPD as it used to be called, is an interesting disorder to read about. I'll refrain from further comment. 2.5 stars.
I have to admit that I first began this book because I wanted to know all the "gory" details about what it was like living with a mom with DID. So after the first couple of chapters I was somewhat disappointed because it is definitely not that kind of book. But, I am so glad I kept reading because to surprisingly it is a story about love and forgiveness and expectations and learning how to be enough and how the Atonement of Jesus Christ can save you. I wasn't expecting it to touch my heart like [...]
Fascinating, troubling, heartbreaking. This story is a daughter's account of her mother who had been abused as a young girl and developed multiple personalities as an adult to cope with the trauma. The multiple personalities of her mother created a different kind of disfunction and instability in her own childhood and family. It really made me question whether there are people I've known who have been hiding and coping with such "secrets" and how people can overcome such trauma.
This was a quick read about learning from what seem like impossible life circumstances and moving forward. I was grateful it was gospel centered and didn't go into details about the abuse her mother suffered. Great lessons about changing your mindset in order to free yourself.
I love you even more Tiffany! Thank you for sharing! You are amazing!
I had some reservations about this book at the outset, mainly because I am wary of how people accept psychiatric diagnoses as if they were absolute. Psychiatry is very far from a science, using a set of symptoms to represent a "disorder". We know far less about the brain and what causes certain disorders than we are led to believe. I set that aside, however. I do like to approach a book as openly as possible. And it is not a book about dissociative identity disorder. It is rather an accounting o [...]
I give the story 4 stars (It's always difficult to rate somebody's life story!) but the disruptive writing style two stars. The chapters went back and forth from childhood experiences to present day and there were tangents within chapters. It made it difficult to constantly get my bearings, and I wish it were written more chronologically with fewer flashbacks within flashbacks. Some transitions were smoother than others. Also, some of the chapters repeated things previously explained. I wonder i [...]
What an incredibly difficult situation for everyone involved. I really loved the honesty, growth, and hope that permeated the story. I was more sad than frustrated when things were hard or people weren't making the best choices, because intellectually I get it and Tiffany did such a good job of conveying the whole situation. With trauma like that, what they were able to do is incredible, and what they weren't able to do is understandable. I loved the advice her mission president and counselor ga [...]
This book is about a though subject, DID- Dissociative Identity Disorder, which I don't have much knowledge about. The author was very brave in sharing a big family secret and her feelings to the world who are mostly not understanding. It must have been so challenging to be raised by a mother with multiple personalities, be understanding and supportive when it feels like you are being robbed of a mother. Her mother was diagnoses when Tiffany was a teenager, I can not imagine how confusing and fr [...]
First, I must say how eye opening this was to read about a daughter's perspective growing up with a mother who had 14 other people living inside her. She spoke a lot about the facades they tried to keep up and how few people really even cared to know what the real story of their family was. And she brought up complex and demanding moral problems that this kind of disease makes you face. And it was set in a suburban Utah town very much like the one I grew up in. It quickly became compelling in a [...]
A grown woman with children reflects back on her childhood as the daughter of a woman with multiple personality disorder, then her mother's prescription drug abuse, and finally a tragic death which was shrouded in mystery as to the cause. She discusses how the LDS church community she lived in responded to their family's situation and also how her mission president influenced her personal journey toward recovering and her own journey of healing as a survivor of living with someone with the disor [...]
This was a hard book to read because of the sad subject matter but it was quite a fascinating story. The author tells of her experiences growing up with a mother with multiple personalities, a condition she developed as a child when she was sexually abused by her father (the author's grandfather). One of the saddest things to me about this book is that she wasn't ever treated because of the family's financial situation. She was finally diagnosed after going to the hospital because of a car accid [...]
This book was short compared to many of the books that I read, but I kept it putting off because I knew it was a difficult subject. Tiffany's memories were very painful to "witness" and I felt helpless reading about what she and her family went through. Some of the author's memories seem almost unbelievable and I found myself wishing had been made up. It truly feels like this mother and her family has been through the refiner's fire. I am saddened for their suffering but I rejoice in their accom [...]
I feel bad giving a low rating to a memoir. I found the story very interesting, and I very much appreciate the author's courage to share her story. I know that she was expressing her own experience and perspective, so how can I judge her for that? I'm grateful for people willing to talk openly about mental illnesses and their effects to increase the public's understanding of them. That said, I found the writing style ingratiating and felt that the author focused a little bit too much on the sens [...]
Tiffany went through her life not knowing why her mother would act so crazy/loving/mad/childlikec. It wasn't until Hightschool (or after) that her mother was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder. Tiffany fletcher is a wonderful writer. She has a way with words that draws you in. She has had a lot of healing to do, and still has more. I really liked at the end of the book when she was talking to her misison president and he gave her analogies to help her understand her mother's bravery an [...]
Synopsis: Tiffany and her siblings grew up in an LDS home where their mother, Vickie, had multiple personality disorder, with 15 separate and unique personalities. A few personalities were those of little children, while others were nurturers, cooks, lovers, protectors and one that could be very violent. These personalities stemmed from brutal abuse that Vickie suffered at the hands of her father as a child. My Review: It is difficult to write a review about a book that deals with a topic that i [...]
As much as I learned from the book, I can imagine it meant more to Tiffany and her family and what they learned/gained from writing it. About 3/4 of the way through I had to put it down for a day and gather my thoughts. I looked at my own mothering relationship with my children - what were my behaviors teaching them? How was I influencing them? We all have mood swings, but do we stop to realize how they affect our children? The next day I finished the book and cried at the end. I've always belie [...]
I'm really grateful for this woman writing her story. I'm sure it must have been very difficult. It is amazing what goes on behind closed doors without anyone outside having a clue. We judge and we fear when we see others who don't behave in a way that seems right but we don't always question what they must be going or have gone through. Mental illness is a very real thing and many people struggle with various degrees of it. I think that it is partially because of our need to "keep up appearance [...]
I applaud Fletcher's courage in telling about her struggle to love her mother. I felt it was honest and heartfelt. I didn't care for the style in which she told her story, nor did I care for the poetry. I think the poetry meant more to her and her family than it did to the readers. I felt the story was somehow incomplete and like many stories of DID - it presents an incomplete and sensationalized view of what exactly DID is. I would have loved to hear things from her mother's point of view, but [...]
I read this book in one day! Reading this book was heart wrenching, yet spiritually uplifting. It really reminds us that no one is perfect, that we all have trials, and there is probably more quiet suffering going on than we all realize. It was another eye opener to a mental illness that I have briefly read about, but this experience of this family really gives a whole new light on this type of mental illness - multiple personalities, and what loved ones go through. It also helps me gain a new p [...]
I enjoyed this book, if you can say that about a book that is disturbing. I found her honesty very healing for myself and others who have lived with mental illness in thier famlies. Her way of describing the hatred and the guilt and the confusion are very real and I think it is a book that can help others know that they are not alone in what they are feeling and dealing with. She was still processing things though it and I was glad to have read her journey. PS: for those who thought the cause of [...]
Having a connection to one of the spouses of the children in this story made it more real to me. It IS a true story, and the author reports having discussed a lot of her writing with her siblings and father in an attempt to have the story as accurate as possible. However, because it's one author, it's still a bit one sided. And while the author makes a wonderful attempt at being rounded and including details from the siblings, it still feels focused on her experience only; and left we wanting fo [...]
I couldn't put this book down. It is a book that many need to read. It is about the author's life living with her mother who had Multiple Personalities. It is heartbreaking and uplifting. I say heart breaking because so often, we see others with physical disabilities and are so impressed with how they are able to over come them and live their lives to the best of their abilities. When it is a mental/emotion disability which is just as real and debilitating, society can be so cruel and judge ment [...]
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